Tainted Souls

I'm new here so let's explain as to why...
I'm in a psychological therapy session and my therapist advised me on creating a journal... online... (damn her) and since all my classmates... (fine... almost all my classmates) are using tabulas, I decided on making one on it...

dat is y im here.

14 years old, student in St. Paul College Pasig
yes... I do live in the Philippines...

current status: it's summer, i'm bored out of my wits and my therapist is bugging me... fine... single but not available... (what the hell did I just say?)
~luvvv silver and gray... and black...

warnings: have constant mood swings and may go from serious (which i am because i'm pissed off) to totally crazy (aren't we all?)...
Am also a philosopher (please forgive)... and a *drum rolls* yaoi-slash-slash-lover!!!!


and... i'm having a mental block...

My therapist just called and bugged me about this... told me to write whatever thing's bugging me or what's my main thought for the day... Well... err... hope you can understand this... (and somehow I have a new reason to hate this thing dangling from my neck)

Chrono in English means time... in another language it means chord. The three chronos derived from the chord of all chords, chorden, flanagliajin (in Matenph's term, jin, in my term, flanaglia), urthan (yurthan, whatever), and diethene (it's dieth). Why it came to my mind is because of the pendant hanging from my neck, (spirit bind death) which I have no idea why I bought in the first place...
Flanagliajin, or chord of life.
Urthan, or chord of time.
Diethene, or chord of end/s.
Chrono Chorden, chord or all chords, the main chord or language.

Mien kahen jinsei adanea
Sleep well my beloved daughter, through life, through time until the end.
Somebody once told that to me... though unconsiously... Still makes me wonder what I've done (again... yet again) to make them 'not wake me up' (*sigh* but then again, awakenings are never nice...). But then again I AM a slayer... (*rubs forehead* if I'm going to discuss the deaths... I rather not...)

Yes. I believe in past lives and all that elemental magic and sorts... wadaya expect from a pure water? *smirk*

Anyway... back to my insane ramblings...
Yea... I'm a slayer... surrounded by the most... mixed up beings. My Matenph's a slayer, Pipey's a summoner, Kamiya-san's a reader, Kaimen-san and Pasco's are watchers. I'm yet to know who the other kinds are. If you think slayer as in 'Buffy-slayer', no, we do not kill/vanquish vampires, but yea... we do kill.
Kill... hmm... if asked if I was told or asked to kill this certain person or themselves, i would promptly say no... though the bloodlust is still there (yes! I do drink people's blood... though I'm staying away from infera blood)... Why? I've seen to many people die and suffered the consequences. No. I did not kill my own family (I think. But I strongly doubt that I'm the reincarnation of 'THE Ms. Illurhys'), other people did it for me. Ch. I'll get a wine glass now... Need to drink.

Anyway, since I'm here drinking and drowning in liquid, and my sister is bugging me to get out, I'm stopping now... This is what happens when I think too much...

By the way... Would someone, anybody, please translate!!!!

Azen Feiliea Hanek Jenhiell...
Matif Naven Hijen...

I just found out that Kang Ta is really serious in trying to grow a goatee... *wail*
I dunno if he looks handsome (or cute) because me still trying to get over big shock...

cute=ugly but nice

me took test... am not evil... damnit.


How evil are you?

Enneagram:





How compatible are you and your friends?


Disclaimer: Don't own anything!!!

The Portrait of the Mastermind (iNTj)
Copyrighted © 1996-2003 Prometheus Nemesis Book Company.

Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.

It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."

Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.

I just remembered I went semi-hyde-hunting yesterday... Not much pics that are droolable (to my other friends since they are kinda... obssessed)... I just remembered it right now because I'm currently listening to L'arc-en-ciel's (*swoon*)Driver's High. Love his voice...

*swoon*
*faint*

Just came from the doctor today... Damn person doesn't know how to inject the needle properly. Now, my upper right arm hurts like hell because of that... (ch' bloody doctor...) at least my left arm doesn't since I was poked by a needle one on both sides... but does it have to be my trained arm? *wail*

Yay! The planned flight got moved to April 18!!! yay! I have more days to read!!!

now, the dangers of vaccines are having side effects... exactly what i have right now. As i type i am also trying to balance an ice pack on my left upper arm. both my upper arms are swollen and i've been concentrated on healing my left arm with an ice pack for about... one hour definately.

Now it's on my right arm with a new pack of ice cubes... am thankful for my immunity...

MY ARM HURTS!!!!

This is from a play... I forgot which one but it came from our reader's theater... all standard disclaimers apply.

'Today is (insert day).
(insert day) is a fine day.
The sun is up.
The sky is blue.
Everything's nice...
EXCEPT YOU!!!'


For example:
Today is Thursday
Thursday is a fine day
The sun is up.
The sky is blue.
Everything is nice,
Except YOU!'

If people ask 'repeat the last two lines!'

'Everything is nice
because of you.'


thank you. *bows*

Woke up everybody today. Don't know if they ignored it and went back to sleep or read it and went back to sleep... but since no body's texting back, no body's also complaining. Haha!!!

My arm is better. Yay! Am very very very happy. Bari (my not-biolagical-but-I-still-consider-as little sister) e-mailed me. yay! Happy! Happy! *jump* *jump* *jump* Also, it was Ana-onni's Graduation yesterday (haha! Matenph's memory gaps are catching up on me... bad.) Yay!!! Happy Grad-day!!!

Three cheers for the graduates!!!
*cheer*
*cheer**cheer*
*cheer**cheer**cheer*


Hahaha!!! Me so crazy and jumpy today!!!

This is Sungie-oppa... Went Shinhwa hunting yesterday... What's this? Shinhwa porn? *faint*:

I borrowed this from Madel which she stole from Katrina which she stole from Mandee, which Mandee stole from Jay. Which maybe stole from somebody else... *shrug*

Fourteen Years Ago I...
(exactly) was here already and was 2 months old...

Ten Years Ago I....
was four years old and stuck in my house... hey! it's March... oh yea... and maybe daydreaming about my first crush. *shrug* I WAS A KID!!!

Five Years Ago I....
was nine? yep... I'm nine. This is where my major angst years come along. My angst years were seven to present.

Two Years Ago I...
met the person that would change the outcome of my beliefs... Matenph. Joined Card Captor Agency (quitted due to my T.A. quitting but made friends... BAME!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!), joined the Water clan (which I quitted)... (Madel... I am was not the demon. I was the great to the something ancestor.)

One Year Ago I...
became addicted to yaoi due to Raisa... damn... How many pages of fanfiction did I print just because of Riegele? *shiver* Got close to Masami and Aunt Shyll and became a member of NEKO TRANCE TEAM!!! And got closer to my little sister Bari.

Yesterday I...
went Shinhwa hunting!! haha!! they all look funny. oh and I got pissed off because my arms were swelling.

Tomorrow I will...
go... pairing hunting!!! and maybe look at Deep-waters again.

I Have Brand Loyalty To...
none... I buy whatever I want wherever I want.

Snacks I Enjoy Are...
fresh human blood that I is not coming from infera whether they be pure, cross, or core... am allergic... Chocolates, strawberries, cherries, coffee.

Songs I Know The Words To Even Without The Music:
Almost everything I know... though I am getting a bit rusty...

Games I Like...
Heroes of Might and Magic, StarCraft, Diablo I, whatelse... ah!!! Jigsaw puzzles!!! Need to enhance brain.

Albums That Have Changed My Life... Rock!!!
1. Linkin Park: Meteora
2. The compiled albums that I borrow from Ana-onni esp. Doll (In hyung)
3. Evanescence: Fallen

Things I Cannot Live Without:
What if you don't wanna live anymore?

but anyway, in descending
7. Money
6. Food and Water (duh!)
5. Few important people (Ana-onni, Bari, Bame, Aunt Shyll... the fanfics I'm gonna miss)
4. My laptop with Internet access (can't connect to those above without it)
3. Music
2. Pum... my hotdog pillow (never leave your room without it! *huggle pillow*)
1. HOPE (if I didn't have this I would've been dead in the first place)

Things I Would Buy With One Thousand Dollars:
1. Airline tickets to Korea and Japan (I still have change) then I buy all the albums of my favorite bands and singers!!!
2. Hire professional kidnappers... why? to kidnap Gackt-sama, Hyde-sama, Sungie-oppa, Taya-oppa and BoA (then stir-fry her alive!!!). =)
3. Go on a shopping spree on Comic Alley and Filbars.
4. Go find the people that I'm suppossed to find/look for that has answers to my questions... (...)
5. Bribe everybody to do whatever I want.

Guilty Pleasures...
still being addicted to anime... but then again there's nothing good to watch nowadays.
Killing people when I told myself again and again of the consequences...
Being Hentai!!!

I have a theory. More people log into the internet during Saturdays whether they do or do not have classes... Why? Probably habitual...

Why am I babbling nonsense? Because I don't know what to talk about... ah!!!

Happy!!!

Me and Rowee got back together!!! She's not angry anymore!!! WEEEE!!! *huggle wind* *slips*
Whether be she's my guardian or sister, me wuvs her and huggles everybody!!!

*GIVES HUGGLE TO READERS*


Dear Lucas and/or Madel,

Does Sofia have an e-mail address? I want to send her something... Anyway...


I went Gakuhai Hunting!!! Haha!! So many pics... @_@ hahaha!!!


By the way... I'm gonna dump pics... don't mind except for those that are droolable... haha!!!

PS... DO NOT STEAL PICTURES WITHOUT MY CONSENT!!! *GLARE* I AM GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND SUCK YOUR BLOOD... TO MY CLASSMATES: YOU KNOW HOW TRUE IS THAT... HEHE...

lemme see... If I don't update this tomorrow, that means I'll be dead due to the poison brew that my sister is doing... yema... so I'll just be in my room if anybody needs me...

Part One: Basics
1. NAME:
Almyra Lea Ribon Seren Wyatt Vanilla Ardent Winter Ayano Casi Alrise Myrae Lydd Ally Shidaregeneino Hakari Aoss Katashiro Takimi Kurouta Karoru Arcana Ketsueki Matthews Halliwell Caruncho Yambao
2. GENDER:
Female
3. WHERE DO YOU LIVE:
Pasig
4. HEIGHT:
I'm not growing and I'm not gonna tell.
5. SHOE SIZE:
7-7 1/2
6. FIRST CRUSH:
K1 classmate named Antonio
7. PARENTS:
Virginia and Eufracio
8. RIGHTY OR LEFTY:
Right-handed in writing but my leisure hand is left.
9. WHATS YOUR SIGN:
Capricorn
10. WHATS THE FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOU:
Matalino kaya responsable... DAW
11. EVER BEEN IN LOVE:
Is this some sort of a trick question? *glare*
12. PUPPY LOVE:
Maybe...
13. HAVE A TATTOO:
Yep. On the back both on the right and left shoulder blades... Tattoos are better braces ya know...

Part Two: Foods
1. CHOCOLATE MILK OR HOT CHOCOLATE:
Choco milk...
2. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING:
Food is still food and forever will be food
3. COKE OR PEPSI:
Pepsi... esp. Pepsi Blue and Energy Cola
4. ROOT BEER OR DR. PEPPER:
Root beer
5. TEA OR COFFEE:
Coffee.
6. MILK/DARK/WHITE CHOCOLATE:
Any...
7. VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE:
Both?
8. CAKE OR PIE:
Cake.

Part Three: Pick one
1. MARRY PERFECT FRIEND OR PERFECT LOVER:
I'll be dead before I marry.
2. CATS OR DOGS:
Cats. I'm scared of dogs...
3. 1 PILLOW OR 2:
2... the more the merrier though!
4. W/ OR W/O ICE CUBES:
With
5. TOP OR BOTTOM:
Is this what I think it is because if it is, aren't you supposed to ask a gay person... sorry...
6. WINTER/SPRING/SUMMER/FALL:
WINTER!!!
7. SKIING OR BOARDING:
Never tried any.
8. BIKING OR BLADING:
Never tried...
9. ROCK/RAP/R&B/PUNK/ALT/SKA/TECHNO/SWING:
JRock/Jpop and Kpop...
International: Rock
10. NIGHT OR DAY:
night
11. GLOVES OR MITTENS:
Mittens? Bare Handed...
12. DRESSED OR UNDRESSED:
Dressed! *duh*
13. BUNK OR WATER BED:
Bunked Water Bed! Seriously!!!
14. MAKE PLANS OR GO ALONG:
*shrug* Go Along...
15. TRUTH OR DARE:
Dare.
16. MTV OR VH1:
MTV... but there's nothing good on...
17. OCEAN OR POOL:
Ocean
18. SHOWERS OR BATHS:
Baths
19. LOVE OR LUST:
Love.
20. SILVER OR GOLD:
Silver.
21. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS:
Diamonds
22. PENCIL OR PEN:
Pen
23. SUNRISE OR SUNSETS:
Sunset
24. BLIND OR DEAF:
Blind

Part four: Favorites
1. COLOR:
(in correct order) Silver, Black, Blue
2. NUMBER:
3, 7, 9
3. SUBJECT:
Science... though our teacher SUCKS!
4. CLOTHING BRAND:
Just as long as it's nice and comfortable
5. SHOE BRAND:
Any just as long as it's comfortable...
6. SPORT TO PLAY:
Don't like sports... Not good... Killing people though?
7. DRINK:
(correct order) Water, Soda, Blood
8. ANIMAL:
Cats, Birds
9. HOLIDAY:
Christmas, New Years, Hallow's Eve, Friday the 13ths
10. FAVORITE LINE FROM A SONG:
Sorry, I was selfish.
I tried to keep you beside me because I loved you
You're right, I forgot that more importantly...
If I loved you, you should always be happy.
- In hyung (Doll) by Ji Hoon and Hye Sung
11. BAND/ARTIST:
'S', Shinhwa, Kang Ta, H.O.T, Gackt, L'Arc-en-ciel, GOD
12. MOVIE:
... Too many I lost count.
13. PLACE TO CHILL:
House... Room... My mind
14. FLOWER:
Sakura, Carnations, Orchids, White and Red roses together
15. SCENT:
Hugo, Atlantis/Cool Waters, Ralph Lauren

Part five: Future
I would be dead already before this happens but the heck with it...
1. HOW MANY KIDS:
one... three?
2. COLLEGE:
La Salle? UST?
3. JOB:
Still thinking... but most likely a psychologist...
4a. WHAT DOES YOUR IDEAL GF/BF LOOK LIKE:
*shrug*
4b. HOW DO THEY ACT:
*shrug*

Part Six: Would you?
1. MOVE ANYWHERE?:
To another apartment...
2. DYE YOUR HAIR:
Nope
3. MEET ONE FAMOUS PERSON:
Maybe...
4. LIVE WITH ONE PERSON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE:
I'll live alone...
5. NAME ONE PERSON YOU LOVE:
God?
6. NAME ONE THING THAT EMBARRASSES YOU:
having an award which you just have to shout to everybody...
7. DO YOU LIKE SCHOOL?
Nope... too many people
8. DO YOU LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE?
Nope.
9a. DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LINE?
? As in the 'Hey! That's my line!' line? Yep... Which one?
“Understand the world before you try and make it understand you."
“Even though humans try so hard to reach perfection,
Even though how hard humans think they’re perfect
Remember that ‘there is no such thing as the word ‘Perfect’ in an imperfect world.”
9b. CAN WE HAVE YOUR NUMBER?
You won't even text nor call me so what's the use?
10. DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE?
Nope... I am forced to dance *remembers music test* *shiver* And I get to have an embarassing award just for the heck of it...
11. ARE YOU SCARED TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Have no plans to.
12. HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING?
Nayp
13. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE?
Yea...
14. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?
Am Allergic...
15. HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN/FRACTURED A BONE?
Dislocated though...
16. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS?
Ears.
17. DO YOU WEAR BRACES?
No.
18. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A GOOD LISTENER?
Yea... or at least everybody drones on and I can still understand what they're babbling about...
19. CAN YOU SING?
Is that an insult?
20. DO YOU THINK CHEERLEADING IS A SPORT?
No.
22. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN ANYTHING?
I ask.
23. WHAT'S ON YOUR CEILING?
The light bulb? and a bunch of wires.
24. WHAT'S YOUR WORST INJURY EVER?
Dislocated the same shoulder thrice in a span of less than 30 min inside the swimming pool.
25. WHAT'S THE HARDEST THING ABOUT GROWING UP?
Responsibilities and Expectations to do it...
26. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
Nope.



Anyway, went gakuhai hunting... here's what I got... but there's a lot more...

Okay... first thing's first. I'm pissed off. There's a possibility of me not going to go to US anymore (MY MP3 PLAYER!!!) because my uncles over there have too much work to do to accomodate us. Damn it.

Anyway, I got the questions from Ana-onni's blog...


Top 5…

5 THINGS that I can’t live without:
1. HOPE
2. Hotdog Pillow
3. Music
4. Laptop
5. Food and Water

Top 5 PEOPLE that I can’t live without
1. Roweena and Cereay
2. The people in my head... ? (yep, including the guy with the black hair, blue eyes who died right in front of me and the other unknown guy with the brown hair and blue-green eyes.)
3. Hibari Letitia Katashiro Takimi Kurouta
4. Tsubame Gaia Katashiro Takimi Kurouta
5. Ana-onni

Top 5 Questions in life:
1. When am I gonna die
2. Who the heck are those people
3. Where are you?!?!?!?!
4. What does 'Azen feiliea...' mean and why does everybody want to keep that a secret
5. Nanda? or possible: Is real-life slash/yaoi possible?

001. name : Almyra Lea Ribon Seren Wyatt Vanilla Ardent Winter Ayano Casi Alrise Myrae Lydd Ally Shidaregeneino Hakari Aoss Katashiro Takimi Kurouta Karoru Arcana Ketsueki Matthews Halliwell Caruncho Yambao

002. nicknames : Al, Myra, My, Ally-chan, Ally, Van, Lydd, Shidare, Hakari, Wyatt, Ren-sama (err... got about 63 nicknames so just don't ask what the others are...)
003. sex : female
004. birthday : january 19, 1990
005. age : 14
006. star sign : capricorn
007: weight: 100 pounds (yes... I gained weight... #)
008. current residence: Pasig city
009. hair colour : black
010. eye colour : brown
011. height : (am short and not growning)
012. writing hand : right

BODY SKiLLS
013. do you bite your nails : nope
014. can you roll your tongue : yea
016. can you raise one eyebrow at a time : yadda
017. can you blow smoke rings: can't smoke... but it's worth a try!
018. can you blow spit bubbles: when I was still a kid... unfortunately
019. can you cross your eyes : yup
021. tattoos and where : washable, left shoulder. In the future, both shoulders blades at the back.
022. piercing and where : ears
036. speaking of shoes, hav u thrown one at someone?: accidentally, to everybody else...
037. how much money is usually in your wallet?: ... nada
039. whats sexiest on a guy : eyes
040. whats sexiest on a girl : face
041. would you rather be on time and look ok or late and look great: be on time

GROOMiNG
050. do you paint your nails: yea
051. do you swear : want me to do it right now? Shut the fuck up.
052. do you mumble to yourself: All the time...
053. do you spit in public? : definately no
055. can you survive without the cd player?: nayp.
056. person you talk most on the phone with: Kamiya... have no one to talk to...
057. what color is your bedroom?: yellow. but my room is dirty so it's dirty yellow.
059. name one thing or person you're obsessed with: YAOI!!! (general terms)
060. have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : huh? nayp. no. iie...
061. ever sunbathed in the nude: are you like frikkin mad?!?!?
065. in hot weather do you use a blanket : have to. INSECTS!!!
066. do you snore : Never heard myself and nobody complains so NO.
067. do you sleepwalk : Nope
068 do you talk in your sleep : my family say so.
069. do you sleep with a stuffed animal : Allergic
070. how about the light on : I forget to turn it off when I read fics...
071. do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : i sleep with silence.

LAST TIME
073. were kissed or kissed someone : err... peace time in the church?
074. watched bambi : what's that?
075. cried : err... kanina... mga... two hours ago.
076. talked on the phone : Kamiya called me up
077. read a book : Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
078. punched someone : Never punched someone... bite: my sister in church

MUSiC
079. is music important to you : Never lived without it.
080. do you sing? : Hehe... yea.
082. what do you think of Eminem: I like him... I can relate.

DO YOU LiKE
083. pop music : depends on who's singing...
084. rock music : Definately
085. punk music : depends...
086. rap/hiphop music : it's ok
087. R&B : sometimes...
088. country : I've had enough of that
089. jazz : Yup
090. classical : Yea
091. new age : never heard
092. alternative: Maybe
093. sentimental/love songs: I don't look like the type but yea...


_ARTISTS:
094. britney spears: turning sluttier everytime... sings well though...
095. christina aguilera: turned slut, went back to being A.B.-normal... dunno now
096. enya: ...
097. nina: reminds me of BoA
098. parokya ni edgar: Yea...
099. placebo: don't know em
100. fat joe: don't know... MTV is getting boring with more and more new people coming...

CHILLIN':
101. where do you hang out?: kwarto...
103. does your group have guys?: group? what group? we all work alone.
104. what do you like to eat when you hang out with your friends: coffee

FRIENDSHIP:
105. who is/are your best friend/s?: none... myself... maybe my therapist... (naa... Ms. Haka...)
106. do you have a barkada?: Nope
107. who are involve in the barkada?: ---
108. what is the name of your kada?: ---
109. how old is/are your best friend/s?: ---
110. have you ever fallen in love to your best friend/friend/close friend?: ---
111. if yes, why? if no, why not?: ---
112. what is love?: love? what's that? Never felt that.
113. who is your crush?: none as of the moment
114. do you have a love-one?: ---
115. if yes, who?: nada
116. the person you're obsessed?: obsessed with finding... RAILEY WHERE THE F*CK ARE YOU?!?
117. have you ever fallen in love with a gay/obit?: how should I know
118. if yes, who?: ---
119. what if you have(or maybe you have) a bestfriend that is opposite sex to you, and what if he/she courts you, will you accept it?: Parents will mind...
120. what if you have a guy/girl bestfriend, and he/she has a crsuh on you, what will you do?: don't have a best friend

FAVORITES:
121. color?: silver, black, blue
122. food?: food is food and forever will be food
123. sweets?: yea
124. ice cream flavor?: white with taint. black desire, something that looks like frozen blood
125. starstruck? none
126. t.v. show?: CSI, Buffy
127. movie?: none as of the moment
128. cartoon show/movie?: Slam Dunk, Cardcaptor sakura, Gensomaden Saiyuki
129. cartoon character? a lot
130. cake flavor? Black Forest
131. stuff toy?: Allergic
132. singer? Kang Ta, Hikaru Utada, Gackt
133. band? Shinhwa, Linkin Park, GOD, JTL, H.O.T, 'S', L'Arc-en-ciel
134. song/s? In hyung, Easier to Run, First Love (hikaru utada)
135. dogs?: hate em
136. fish? is that an insult?
137. expression?: *raises eyebrow*, what the f-
138. website?: Fanfiction.net
139. chocolate? food is food
140. favo letter? do i have to have one?
141. favo number? 3
142. sport? swimming
143. flower? Sakura, Orchids, Carnations, White and Red Roses
144. shoes? Rubber shoes, Boots
145. clothes? comfortable clothes
146. holiday?: Christmas, New Year, Hallow's eve, Friday the 13th
147. favo word? ...
148. favorite time? none

DO YOU LIKE..?
149. dancing? maybe... depends why
150. singing? yea
151. cheering? No
152. sugod? too rash... am a slayer, i'm good at what i do
153. listening to the music? Always
154. watching t.v.? turned boring
155. gimick? bawal
156. going to a party?: no
157. christmas?: Christ was born. you HAVE to like it.
158. sleeping?: yes unfortunately I have insomnia
159. eating? maybe
160. texting? kung may nag-text
161. telebabad? pagwalang mangingistorbo
162. surfing the net? duh? obviously
163. chat? nope
164. lying? : i'm a liar, backstabber... list goes on.
165. slashing?: slashing people yea but myslef? nah. too messy. Plus you have to hide evidence...

DO YOU WISH..?
166. you were someone? mortals are too...
167. to die?: Does everyday mean anything?
168. to kill someone?: don't have to... I already did... wanna be next?
169. that your love-one will love you, too?: too numb to care
170. that you were popular? too loud and noisy. NEVER
171. that you're super rich? Riches can make you forget
172. that you have lots of boylets/girlets? I prefer to be alone... like what I am...
173. that you have a colored cellphone?: My parents don't wanna upgrade my phone.
174. you can jump on a building?: if you land badly, you end up having a broken bone and might live. anyway, it's too messy and can attract people.
175. your parents can leave you alone and let you do whatever you want to do?: I am alone yet nobody wants to bugger off. would kill them if i could but then again they're my family (so called)



More pics...

poor me... I have no more place to post pictures... (NOOOOOOO!!!) So let me post the last of the "droolable" gakuhai pics... from Moonchild, here they are... (background: I need to post more pics!!!)

If you want to have and see more of the pics I have, email me!

(background: gackt!!! I can't bear not flaunting you off!!! If I don't I'll die because of too much blushing and fainting!!! Anyway, when will you and Hyde actually get married?!?! I can't take it anymore!!!)

I have made this habit now of posting everyday... anyway, haha!!! I pity the smart people in this world... Today is the recognition rites practice... haha! They have to practice pa! Haha!!!

Kamiya!!! Good Luck!!!

oh... by the way, while I was fic hunting, I stumbled upon this article. If you want to comment about it, why not?

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Don't sue. Am broke, fragile and scared... do not inflict more emotional trauma... am also on therapy...


The Secret Life of Harry Potter

Fans are writing their own stories with some unconventional romances

by Daniel Rosario

Harry Potter, the boy-wizard from J K Rowling's hugely popular children's stories, has become a homosexual fantasy on the Internet.

Harry is now the hero of gay romances too, written and read mostly by adolescent girls.

This fan fiction or 'fanfic' is a Web phenomenon and can be heterosexual. But 'het' fanfic is not as popular as homosexual or 'slash' fanfic is.

In these slash fanfics, Harry is mostly paired with Draco Malfoy, his archrival, and sometimes with Ron Weasly, his best friend. Another favourite pairing is Harry and teacher Severus Snape.


Consider this excerpt from a Harry/Draco slashfic, Sometimes When We Touch, by Rhysenn:

"I have to," Harry answered softly, reaching forward and drawing Draco closer to him. "I can't not go." Draco let Harry pull him near, and he subconsciously arched forward against the comforting warmth of Harry's body, the only comfort he trusted in these dark days, and the one thing that was being taken away from him now, and he didn't want to let Harry go, not now, not ever.

A Harry Potter slash page for 'slightly' older folk offers titles like Dementor's Kiss, described as 'a rather twisted little fic'. Other stories promise 'romance, cunning plans, a love triangle and songs galore'.

Rhysenn, a popular slash writer, says that these are stories "where everything and anything goes, for a little fun."

Debbie, another slash writer who corresponded with Net Guide, says she does it because she perceives "chemistry between certain characters". She doesn't mind them belonging to the same sex because, "love is love, no matter who is involved. I look at the subtext and enjoy these non-standard pairings".

What enjoyment does she get by writing and reading stories about relationships between men? "I find a beauty in same-sex relationships because the couple has to really want it in order to overcome a pervasive societal bias against such pairings. They can understand each other, emotionally and physically in ways that heterosexual pairings cannot," explains Debbie.

The excitement over slash fanfic spills on to message boards with readers and writers eagerly debating issues. 'What's your favourite pairing and why?' inquires Tatterhood. Rhysenn declares, "My favourite pairing is Harry/Draco, followed by Lucius/James." Slash writers also use these message boards to understand readership tastes.

'Remus/Severus is the fan mail topic of the week' reads a notice at one site, urging readers to tell the writer how much they love her characters: 'The more fan mail she gets, the more inclined she'll be to write them into the next chapter.'

But like all things that buck convention, slash too has attracted controversy.

College student Pravin Shah is indignant: "The fact that writers who are supposed to be fans can give such twists to popular stories sickens me."

To such familiar reactions, fanfic writers say, don't read them.

One, who goes by the name Firebolt says, "Most stories are marked with warnings all over. If you pay attention to the summary and the author's notes at the top, you have perfect control over what you read. And if the author has enough respect for your dislike of slash to write the warnings, shouldn't you have enough respect for their ideas to leave the story alone?"

Despite tantalising titles like Love Between Rivals, Irresistible Poison and Stealing Sweaters, there aren't always takers. Mumbai housewife Caroline Rodrigues maintains that such fiction is inappropriate for its use of characters from a children's book.

But a writer from New Zealand claims that fanfic "Has no age barriers and while the book itself may be for children it doesn't mean fan fiction is supposed to reflect that."

Writers argue that most stories are set in the future with the characters having grown up. "I have yet to read a story where the characters are younger than 14," says one reader. But who said 14 was mature?

Many also decry the classification of all slash fiction as pornography simply because the characters belong to the same sex.

Debbie has a point to make: "A kiss is a kiss, no matter who's doing it", explaining that while most slash stories "have no more nor less sexual content than comparative heterosexual fics", the latter are not considered porn. "Pornography connotes something dirty. Pure graphic sex without emotion or plot. To lump all slash fics together and say their authors are involved with porn is an insult to the emotional and plot-based stories we try to create," Debbie argues.

An echo comes from slash writer Amy Fortuna: "Less than a third of my stories contain sex. It's about the relationship."

Not everybody buys these arguments though. "Sure it's porn. What did you think it was, wholesome entertainment?" a Mumbai Potter fan asks.

There is also the legal angle. While Warner Brothers has reportedly taken a grim view of such sites, saying it is a violation of intellectual property rights, writers and fans of slash have been quick to defend themselves.

Slash writer Elysian insists that it does not violate copyrights because it isn't done for money: "The only payment I'm receiving for this venture is my own twisted satisfaction. Please don't sue me. I'm fragile." While Author Jules threatens, "If they're looking for a fight, they will get one!"

Debbie points to the fact that writers are careful to put up disclaimers acknowledging that they aren't the owners of anything related to Harry Potter. She does not subscribe to the view that Potter slash results in negative publicity for the movie or books: "Any negative view will be a mere drop in the bucket. There will not be any significant impact on the genre as a whole."

To prove her point, she talks of people who denounce Harry Potter as promoting witchcraft: "Those people have a much larger voice than slash activists but even they have not been able to curb the flood of admiration for Rowling's creation."

Comments fellow slash lovers?

I got this from the website of Rhysenn (yes the one stated above) if you want to see her other works, go to rhysenn.morethanart.org