Tainted Souls

i'm leaving tabulas... permanently.

in the middle of thinking last month ago... i just realized that i don't use tabulas that much...

then talking with kaith made me remember... she IS dead afterall... no need to advertise that she's dead because she IS gone... she's not coming back for me... she won't tell me what to do... she won't tell me to control myself... she won't tell me that i need to control my anger... she won't hit me when i angst too much... she won't bug me anymore to call her... she won't tell me to leave a note... she won't bug me to update anymore... she won't do anything because she's nothing...

like what i posted when i first came here... this was supposed to be a 'therapy' for me... since my therapist is dead... i don't have to do this anymore... anyway... this is just a bunch of passing memories and useless quizzes and surveys...

 

goodbye.

flight schedule:

Routing Date Dep Arr
Manila-Seoul 29-May 12:10 pm 4:45 pm
Seoul-Manila 3-Jun 8:10 am 10:50 am

Hotel List:
Hamilton Hotel
Itaeweon-Dong Yongsan-gu
Tel #: (02) 794-0171

Medeung Park Hotel
Jisan-Dong, Dong-gu
Kwangju City, Korea
Tel #: (02) 226-0011

Name: Almyra Lea Yambao
Piercings: ears
Tattoos: none... but hoping to get one...
Height: 5... something...
Shoe size: ranges from 6 1/2 to 8
Hair color: black... but my sister insists it's brown.
Sibling(s): 1 older brother and 1 older sister (but seriously, i think i'm older than her...)

LAST

Movie you rented: ... i really don't remember it... it's too far back... (me have memory potholes)
Movie you bought: naruto the movie (but it's for ate ana~)
Song you listened to: seub kwan by fly to the sky
Song that was stuck in your head: seub kwan by fly to the sky
CD you bought: ... could it be a vcd? Tokyo Babylon! (sei-chan~)
CD you listened to: ... same thing?
Person you've called: my dad...
Person that's called you: ... ate ana...
TV show you've watched: his and her circumstances
Person you were thinking of: scar... TT_______TT

DO

You have a crush on someone: ... i would neither confirm nor deny that.
You wish you could live somewhere else: yes
You think about suicide: yes
Others find you attractive: depends on who...
You want more piercings: yes.
You like cleaning: no.
You like roller coasters: very much so!
You write in cursive or print: print!

FOR OR AGAINST

Long distance relationships: if both are loyal to each other then why not?
Suicide: for.
Killing people: for.
Teenage smoking: for.
Driving drunk: drunk, yes. driving, no.
Gay/Lesbians: i'm bi.
Soap operas: very much against.

HAVE YOU

Ever cried over a girl: yes...
Ever cried over a boy: hell no.
Ever been in a fist fight: yes! (jamie~)
Ever been arrested: thankfully not yet.

WHAT

Shampoo do you use: pantene
Shoes do you wear: my adidas rubber shoes~
Are you scared of death: no... just hell.

NUMBER

Of times I have been in love: 1
Of times I have had my heart broken: 1
Of hearts I have broken: ... don't ask me if their heart is broken.
Of girls I have kissed: ... *counts* far to many to count... but the last time i checked, it's 8...
Of boys I have kissed: 1
Of girls I've slept with: 1 (... *everybody stares* ... I SHARED A ROOM WITH MY SISTER WHEN I GOT KICKED OUT OF MY ROOM!)
Of boys I've slept with: 0
Of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friend: none as of the moment... what? she's dead.
Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 0
Of scars on my body: eeerrrr... *tries to count* too many!! @_@
Of scars on my soul: more than enough...
Of things in my past that I regret: a lot.

FAVORITE

4 letter word: fuck.
Actor/actress: ... none
Candy: cherry liquoers
Cartoon: ... none
Cereal: milo... cococrunch hurts me...
Chewing gum: ... i hate gums...
Color(s): silver, black.
Color nail polish: silver... blue
Day of week: wednesday... (i hate fridays because i have violin lessons)
Flower: ... white roses... or crimson ones.
Jello flavor: strawberry or cherry
Jewelry: necklaces or bracelets...
Special skills/talents: talents? what talents?
Fall/Spring: fall
Trampolines or swimming pools: swimming pools

WHO LAST

Slept in your bed: ... it's MY bed.
Saw you cry: scar.
Made you cry: scar.
Yelled at you: ... i don't remember.
Sent you an email: ate dev.

HAVE YOU EVER

Said "I love you" and meant it: once.
Gone out in public in your pajamas: why would i?
Kept a secret from everyone: yes
At anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: ... i didn't get that
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: no
Been on stage: yes
Been to New York: no
Been to California: yes
Hawaii: no
China: yes
Canada: no
Europe: no
Asia: ... i live there
South Australia: no
Puerto Rico: no
Wished you were the opposite sex once a month: ... i'm a hermaphrodite.
What time is it now: 10:35 am
Apples or bananas: apples
Walmart or target: target.
What are you gonna do after you finish this: eat ice cream
Are you bored: yes
Last noise you heard: the dog barking

 

WHAT COMES FIRST INTO YER MIND???
> ^ChOcOlaTe^ : --> sweet
>
> ^ShOeS^ : --> boots
>
> ^ClOtHeS^ : --> nothing...
>
> ^dRiNkS^ : --> water
>
> ^CaNdY^ : --> X.O. na strawberry
>
> ^CeLfOnE^ : --> money (need money to buy new one!)
>
> ^CoOkIeS^ : --> Cream-O
>
> ^FrIeNd/S^ : --> ter... friendster
>
> ^CoUnTrY^ : --> TT__________TT
>
> ^CoLoR^ : --> black... i don't know why...
>
> ^FrUiT^ : --> istrobery
>
> ^hObBiEs^ : --> violin playing...
>
> ^TaLeNt^ : --> talent? what talent?
>
> ^BoY^ : --> gay
>
> ^GiRl^ : --> tibo
>
> ^SpOrT^ : --> summer...
>
> ^ReLaTiOnShIp^ : scar...let...
>
> ^hYsKuL^ : --> initial stress
>
> ^cUtE^ : --> ugly but nice
>
> ^FiSh^ : --> is that an insult? *vein pop*
>
> ^SoNg^ : --> song...
>
> ^SiNgEr^ : --> kapatid ko...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - -
- -- - - - - -- - - - - - -- -

1. [ RED ] : blood

2. [ BLUE ] : water

3. [ YELLOW ] : my room (eeeeeewwwww)

4. [ GREEN ] : ate tintin

5. [ PINK ] : moning

6. [ WHITE ] : fluffy!!!

7.[ BROWN ] : old

8.[ BLACK ] : darkness

9. [ PURPLE ] : jamie

10. [ CRAZY ] : me

11. [ DICTIONARY ] : homosexual (it's always there!!! the word is haunting me!!!!)

12. [ CALENDAR ] : saiyuki reload

13. [ BED ] : *ahem* *coughcoughcoughcough*

14. [ TV ] : useless piece of *toot*

15. [ CATS ] : railey

16. [ HANDPHONE ] : celphone

17. [ LOVE ] : hearts... and lots of angst!

18. [ EYE ] : seishirou and subaru!!! *heart*

19. [ WATER ] : me

20. [ EXAM ] : stress

21. [ FISH ] : insults... and scales... and allergies...

22. [ TOMATO ] : blushing faces

23. [ SHAMPOO ] : hair

24. [ BURGER KING ] : MUSHROOMS!!!!

25. [ McDONALDs ] : quarter pounder!!!

26. [ KFC ] : chicken!!!

27. [ TEA ] : milk

28. [ SOUP ] : yummy~

29. [ CAR ] : ferrari

30. [ FRUIT ] : melon

31. [ POWER PUFF GIRLS ] : puff~

32. [ NESCAFE ] : coffee~~

33. [ AVRIL LAVIGNE ] : *hides face in shame*

35. [ SUPERSTAR ] : isang maningning na bituin

36. [ BURN ] : fire

37. [ FLOWER ] : lily & tulips

38. [ TATTOO ] : expression

39. [ HOLIDAY ] : holy day

40. [ BYE ] : how do you really spell that?  bi? buy? bye? @__________@

41. [DREAM GAL] : ... dead... *goes to america and kicks her grave*

42. [DREAM GUY] : yunho~

43. [BLOOD] : yum!~

44. [BOB MARLEY] : wtf? (it's who... not what...)

45. [LIFE] : *goes to america and kicks her grave*

it sucked. completely sucked.

 

1. i just found out that my violin is too small for me.

2. my pinky IS stiff. (no sir... you cannot do anything about it)

3. my teacher is frustrated at me. (sorry. am just a beginner)

4. i don't like my teacher. (he's also stiff. *hentai thoughts abound...* -___- I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THOSE THOUGHTS DAMMIT! *fume*)

5. i hyperventilated because the place is too hot. (... i think i didn't mention that i'm asthmatic...)

6. my arm hurts...

 

... we'll see what will happen after this... *life's drum rolls*

 

anyway... back to more pressing matters... i could imagine my thera right beside me trying to hit my head with anything hard... gawd i still can't believe she's dead... i always force my mind (and my body) to squeeze in the fact that she's gone. she won't come back... ever. i need my pillow...